Emo_Baby!

haha... this photo is classic.
Dug up from one of my ancient photo collections...

.. no recollection of anything though...

Gym Freaks.

I'm probably in a severe blogging downtime.
I really can't believe my interval between my proper blog postings are so far apart, considering that I would actually post virtually everyday in the past.

Life is... well.. frankly speaking, better nowadays.

Stress is somewhat the thing of the past, my boss wants me to clear my off ASAP, lest I accumulate and disappear for an entire month.
But I really hate it when he dictates the day which I must clear my off. (i.e. Thursday Friday or Monday Tuesday).
I know he has good intentions when he wants me to have an ultra long weekend, but I hate taking Fridays or Mondays off.

There are so many things that would happen if i do so..
- Monday/Friday is the day most people take MC or off. Its when my department has the least manpower.
- Monday is the start of the administrative week, which means lots of stuff needs to be done before the training begins.
- Friday is the end of the training week, which means lots of instructors will be cramping their lessons towards the end of the week.

and most importantly

Monday and Friday are my regimented gym/running routine days!

sigh..

.....

People always tell me they can't understand why I like gymming so much.
to them, its boring, repetitive and a waste of time.
I think I understand.. coz I started out with a blank canvas as well.

This is the reason why I love the gym:
1) I love the smell. Don't ask me why. All gyms have a metallic, sports-fresh type of smell that I can't get enough of.
2) I love the feeling when I switch from one lighter weight to another which I have never been able to do.
3) I love the jaw clenching, heart-thumping adrenal effect when I strain to lift my maximum effort.
4) I love the feeling after that.
5) I love the ability to feel good, that I have came such a long way from nothing to at least a reasonable something.

The same people also say - gymming is not a sport wad. Why don't you engage yourself in some sports?
(apart from the fact that I DO play soccer, basketball and swim competitively.)
My main sport that I love is NOT soccer or basketball *grins*, nor is it gymming.
its... *hold my breath*

... bodybuilding.

Then they go *gasp* "omg!" "freak!!!*... and.. "that's not even a sport!"
.... what really defines a sport?

"Sport is commonly defined as an organized, competitive and skillful physical activity requiring commitment and fair play. " - Wikipedia

Organized - Yes, it has a group of people with a common view and goal in mind. They are all reaching for the same objective.

Physically skillful - You say?

Competitive- Hell yeah! Its probably one of the most extremely competitive sport in the entire world! Unlike soccer or basketball where you versus the opponent's team, when you're in bodybuilding, you probably versus the entire world!

Commitment - Err. I think I emphasized that already. - Alot.

Fair Play - No steroids, no injections, no cheating, maintaining a clean and healthy diet. There are probably a ton of rules. - and you get kicked out if you break any. Fair?

sigh.

Dunno lah, I'm just sick of people calling my freak whenever I say that I wanna be a bodybuilder.
They think of injections, steroids, hormone replacement therapy, vascular enhancements and stuff.
- all which are actually banned from competitive bodybuilding actually.

in fact. I think I'm going to get a backlash when I post this also.

jeez. this is stupid.

.. I'm going to the gym. and imagine you being crushed under the 200 pound plates.

Thought Provoking Video by MCYS

I think this is one of the few video campaigns that have made me tear... I really think this is true, I've always shared exactly the same sentiments...

It is never about finding the perfect person. Because you can never find it.

It is finding the beautifully imperfect person, and making him or her

perfect.

gosh. this is freaky. I think I just had my entire character categorized and labeled completely.
and it is damn accurate. I think probably one of the most accurate tests I've ever done.

hmm... its 100 percent accurate, with no deviations from the description.
but apparantly, my career path doesn't seem to veer me towards that... Unless I become a personal trainer or something...

oh well..

http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFJ.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFJ_rel.html
http://www.personalitypage.com/ISFJ_car.html

ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed." In extreme cases, this need is so strong that standard give-and-take relationships are deeply unsatisfying to them; however, most ISFJs find more than enough with which to occupy themselves within the framework of a normal life. (Since ISFJs, like all SJs, are very much bound by the prevailing social conventions, their form of "service" is likely to exclude any elements of moral or political controversy; they specialize in the local, the personal, and the practical.)

ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself). (And as low-profile Is, their actions don't call attention to themselves as with charismatic Es.) Because of all of this, ISFJs are often overworked, and as a result may suffer from psychosomatic illnesses.

In the workplace, ISFJs are methodical and accurate workers, often with very good memories and unexpected analytic abilities; they are also good with people in small-group or one-on-one situations because of their patient and genuinely sympathetic approach to dealing with others. ISFJs make pleasant and reliable co-workers and exemplary employees, but tend to be harried and uncomfortable in supervisory roles. They are capable of forming strong loyalties, but these are personal rather than institutional loyalties; if someone they've bonded with in this way leaves the company, the ISFJ will leave with them, if given the option. Traditional careers for an ISFJ include: teaching, social work, most religious work, nursing, medicine (general practice only), clerical and and secretarial work of any kind, and some kinds of administrative careers.

While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives. ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well. When these include Es who want to socialize with the rest of the world, or self-contained ITs, the ISFJ must learn to adjust to these behaviors and not interpret them as rejection. Being SJs, they place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior (although, unlike STJs, they are usually as concerned with being "nice" as with strict propriety); if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment (a fact which many of their teenage children take gleeful advantage of). Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-). Needless to say, ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones--although strong Js may tend to focus more on what the recipient should want rather than what they do want.

Like most Is, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice. (However, like most Fs they hate confrontation; if you get into a fight, don't expect them to jump in after you. You can count on them, however, run and get the nearest authority figure.) Unlike with EPs, the older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it. One ISFJ trait that is easily misunderstood by those who haven't known them long is that they are often unable to either hide or articulate any distress they may be feeling. For instance, an ISFJ child may be reproved for "sulking," the actual cause of which is a combination of physical illness plus misguided "good manners." An adult ISFJ may drive a (later ashamed) friend or SO into a fit of temper over the ISFJ's unexplained moodiness, only afterwards to explain about a death in the family they "didn't want to burden anyone with." Those close to ISFJs should learn to watch for the warning signs in these situations and take the initiative themselves to uncover the problem.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Sensing
Auxilliary: Extraverted Feeling
Tertiary: Introverted Thinking
Inferior: Extraverted Intuition

Andrew is BROKE!

another long period passes before I blog...
life is cooling down, and I'm finding it easier to cope..

Thanks everybody for standing by me even through these times...

Last week was a random party event that Gandy hosted.. heh.. was really great, people from previous generations of AVA and the current generation got to meet each other...

but... they still made me drunk.

zZz...

I seriously do not understand why my alcohol threshold is so low... I'm probably the person with the lowest alcohol tolerance among all my friends.

things I've actually gotten seriously drunk on:

1) e-"something" wine cooler from 7-11 (1 bottle)
2) Hooch, flavored vodka cooler from Waterbar (1/2 bottle)
3) 1 SHOT OF TEQUILLA.
4) Half a pint of beer from Brewerkz
5) Choya, half a glass (approx 100ml)
6) Red wine, half a cup

Yes.

I've gotten dead drunk over these stuff. With the Tequilla giving the worst hangover in my entire life.

Some people's DNA code calls for a different, less efficient acetaldehyde dehydrogenase. This leads to a buildup of acetaldehyde after alcohol consumption, causing the alcohol flush reaction with hangover-like symptoms such as flushing, nausea, and dizziness. These people are unable to drink much alcohol before feeling sick, and are therefore less susceptible to alcoholism.^[5][6]

apparently I'm in this category...
sigh...

Oh well. Luckily I become dead drunk...

...

shucks.. recently I've been spending waaaay too much money..

This 3 months critical expenditure blowouts-
1) $60+ on grocery expenditure
2) $300 on supplements (awaiting $200 from other friends)
3) $100 on protein and DHA/EPA
4) $75 top up on BBDC drivers account
5) $85 on Kayaking course
6) $36 on Newton's Life Run
7) $140 on birthday presents
8) $160 on a restaurant
9) $60 on another four restaurants

Total Expenditure: $1016
Income from SAF: $1200
Assets: $250

Total left over less criticals: $434
Monthly Bills:
i. Transport Bill (MRT): $50 x 3 $150
ii. Transport Bill (Bus): $20 x 3 $60
iii. Transport Bill (Taxi): $50
iv. Aesthetics Expenditure: $70

Total Bills: $330

Total left over less criticals and bills: $104

Income from "Company X": $60
Income from "Company Y": $100 + $10

Total Profit on a general scale : $274

Btw. That does not count the amount that I spend eating everyday, the random stuffs I buy from Daiso etc etc.

so.. per month..

sigh.

I'm really poor ain't I..

sobz



Reedited - 31 03 2009
author's note :

Total profit on general scale : $274
LESS : Loss of passport = $120
LESS : Repair specs = $50

Recalculated profit on general scale : $154

The End of Winter

and so it ends...
my mind is more blind then it has ever been.... and my heart really feels empty...

The person I love is gone forever... and we both agreed on it.

I feel like a killer with a contract - to kill myself...

*cries*

It suddenly feels so lonely.. so very cold out there..

I've spent almost a tenth of my entire life with him, and then its just "gone"..

all the hugs, finger wrestling, poking and cuddling...
all the ruffling of hair nose to nose kisses...
all the whispers of "i love you more then anything else" ...

most of the relationships i had ended on a bad note... but I think I'm at peace, knowing that we did the best for ourselves...


he says he will fade into the shadows... back to where he came from.
i will......
i don't know... it's just so sudden..

but i think its time. its finally time to get back with God.




my hibernation is over.

I think I'm sick of blogging.
Heh.

Never thought that day would come... I knew the time would come when I'll be really too busy to blog, and neglect my blog.. but this is really unprecedented..

... I'm actually too lazy too blog...

The pasts week have taken a pretty sever toll on me.. I think its pretty much like a grinding stone...
Even the weather is topsy turvy... first the meteorological station was proclaiming January to be the driest month in ten years, then God seems to say, "oops", then it starts to rain cats and dogs everyday...

... not that I really hate the rain.. it just disrupts many of my schedules...
coz most of my free times are spend either swimming or tanning... (stop sniggering), or at the gym.

People keep asking me if I'm still a Christian, especially after the recent incidents and stuffs that happened..
I've said it, and I'll say it a million times over.
"I believe in God - the Christian God, His Son - Jesus, and The Councellor - The Holy Spirit."

I am a Christian in that aspact,
but over the months, I've realized that "what God thinks is best for us" IS NOT what makes us happy.
He doesn't care whether we are happy (presently), but rather if
i. His ultimate Will is done
ii. What is for the greater good.

I've been discussing with.. umm... a person inside, and we've came to a weird conclusion...
If everybody asked God for what they think is best for them, the world would be in abject chaos.
i.e.
Person A asks : "God, please smite this horrible DXO for me, he makes my life terrible."
Person B asks : "God, why is this happening? I just want to make amends, but its too hard for me to do so."

God cannot do both, but he can offer a central solution - such as providing a situation where both can understand each other and maybe even become friends.
- but that being so, both parties may not appreciate the push towards this solution.

God does what He thinks is best. - Not what we thinks is best.

haha... sounds ridiculous to some people I bet, but this is what I believe in, and I am sure that even some Christians would oppose our thinking, but yup, thats the way it goes.





I can breathe easier now.

Happy birthday darling, you're 21 years old already.
stop behaving like a little kid all the time k?
or I'll keep pinching your cheeks and messing up your hair..

... I love you...

*hugs tight*